|DonQuixote Doflamingo, its the Manga Version of the Dialogue below|
In recent chapters and episodes of One Piece (My favourite Manga Series of all time) the current villain Doflamingo gives a very important statement. ‘I am laughing because I can’t get angrier than this’ as the actual Japanese translation stands on my screen, which is different from the Manga version above. At that moment I realized this ironhearted bastard is speaking the thoughts of my mind. Sitting and swiping pages of the manga I had a sudden rise of sympathy instead of hate for one of the greatest Villains ever!
I have had situations of absolute hopelessness many times, it’s not first time that I am ranting about frustration here on this blog. I have had broken laptop before, I had to leave college of my dreams for some stupid reason, I had hanging cell phone before, I had no balance in cell phone and that was the day many important things were happening, I had got myself debarred from using my debit card for forty eight hours when I had not a single rupee in bag. I have survived the worse.
Over last twenty one years I have figured one thing, it’s my life’s truth! Technology and I we were meant to be frenemies. What could possibly go wrong with me in a month has always been my question. I have been expanding my territory of mishaps since childhood. This expansion of kingdom of mishaps happened from the moment I saw a shiny halo on my elder sister’s head and black wings sprouting on her back.
My pure faith in her and now her better half has bought me ruin. Yes, I have never fixed anything regarding or remotely related to technology ever! I have always relied on a mysterious creature called Didi. She comes in your life; makes you love and hate her, one moment you want to hug her and next moment strangle her like Othello did to Desdemona! So this creature comes with a devil bond, she helps you in your trouble but the price is they keep you ignorant, a handicap in the department of worldly ways. Oh yes this creature will smile and spell out her only policy- Keep Knowledge Exclusive!
This is the sole reason I am in a love-hate relation with technology. I exist in the virtual world because of a laptop and few online readers who think I have potential. I hate to relay on my cell phone, but it has become an anthromorphic organ of me. It’s with me twenty four/seven and works as my pseudo-brain and consciousness! It’s a bloody living being!
So what happens when your cell phone starts begging for software update and your laptop jerks and dances around its screen? A smart fool would shut his laptop down and use his cell phone for minimum requirement like its apocalypse and you are on fixed ration, an angry fool would throw each of the device and be done with them and an intellectual fool like me would try to think of not troubling her sibling and reset her laptop and starve her cell phone of updates.
So before one of the toughest examinations of my life I lose all my writing pieces of three years. In blink of an eye, my over, three hundred drabbles were done, dealt with, gone! Vanished! What do you do with a grumpy cell phone in your hand? You cry for first three hours, next five hours you yell you shout you hiss like a snake poked in its sleep. You walk around like a zombie howling at anything. Again you cry, cuss the large-scale capitalism not because you are a communist but because you read about capitalism in your last paper. This explosion of knowledge finds its only use in your heart that is filled with rude slangs. So yeah you blame capitalism for the ‘forced need’ on you, you bring out classic slangs and vent out. After that you sleep and when you wake up you are- blank.
There are two options when disasters happen and you are surviving, disaster here being the mental one. In real disaster you have only one option if you survive- live. After exploring my two options- to sulk or to move on, I had churned out sub-options under the Sulk.
I thought of hermit-hood, throw my laptop in river, break my cell phone burn it and let its ashes fly in air, pack my bags and go to Himalayas. But then I realized I won’t survive without money, warm clothes and meds. I thought of joining the Bauls or Sufi’s singing groups around my University. Wear those yellow or green kaftans, smoke bidi, drink cheap alcohol and roam around. I realized I cannot sing or dance though I am well exposed to idea of universal spirituality and cheap drink would kill me in pathetic way. Finally I turned to my old Hippie friends, I loved the idea of how I would enjoy smoking marijuana and travel with them around the world, living in a commune, free of thinking about looking good, wear big clothes, share food, drink ,smokes and lovers! Then I realized I am from a country which does not enjoy good market value of its currency and my family would die if they find me changing lovers every two days, nope can’t be in sin of patricide, matricide, sororicide, fratricide etc etc !
The next option being for me was move on, but since I am a literature person, easy path are not seen to us in first glance. I figured parallel methods to write; first of all I had long facebook status to vent out, a twitter filled with my rage and emails sent to my sister and brother-in-law! I had the perfect answer to all my problems. Write everything in mails and draft them! Mails don’t ask for updates, they don’t ask for space, they provide grammar check too! Finally my sister broke her silence and the divine intervention stopped me. The impossible possibilities’ is in my nature. I may be blessed with the power to destroy and corrupt my email too!
So I moved on.
Here we are back to Doflamingo, I have been so mad that I can’t do anything but laugh. I mean what can be worse than this right? Technology waging war on me like Hera did on poor souls! I reset my laptop again! Lose all my One Piece Episode in my hard disk! I will cry, wail, yell hiss and finally I just have to live in a collation with technology and download six ninety eight episodes of One Piece again!
P.S- One month away from twenty two and I feel so matured!
thanking you to bear with me