a terrible painter, a dreamer, a rebel , a feminist and a self certified bisexual Witch. Who is always trying to visualize whats on the other side of the canvas she paints,just another human- Living alive Life. Now also a green tea addict.

Monday, 22 September 2014

a Step foreword..

I peep through the plastic curtain that protects me from clear drops splattering on the grey path. Rickshaw rattles smoothly and I see a herd of black hoofs gracing the same grey. Each black pair  hoofer's away to the nearest shelter to keep the drops at bay.

The stem of grass gets cleaned and I see the blades’ shining as every drop runs
 down its neck to crimson earth. More I peep out the brighter the world grows on my mind. Sleeve of my blouse gets socked to turn a shade darker as I force open the curtain by another three inches. The darker green in my trouser slowly climbs up and chills my legs. Droplets flood my glasses and my rickshaw puller asks me to duck my head in. 

A girl wearing orange earrings warps her magenta dupatta around her body earns my glance. Her blue rubber slippers paddles past me. For next few moments I am in love with her. School children in blue and white giggle and cross the road. My rickshaw puller begs me to go under the polythene curtain to save me from sickness. I comply partially and hid my body in as I don’t want to miss the turn to my new

As I keep peeping in and out I wonder when the next turn will happen, the ingrained fear that I live in to miss the next turn creeps in. This life has been full of downs and ups, missed opportunities and sudden chances. I shiver at the thought of going in wrong direction and be confident that I am on correct path. Oversight has been my biggest folly. 

The desire I cherished most was to grow out of the four walls of comfort education I always received. All the thoughts I had was gained through peeping out of my own curtain of ignorance. Finally I am at my own mercy and taking shaky steps towards a world I never knew existed.

With the twisted fate that I carry with pride,  may have given me the honour to add the word fatalist to my future biography. Like my other misadventures and stories my journey to my life as a student of Post Graduation has a big tale. Yet this tale is meant to stay with me and not typed.

In my satchel I carry my half broken Bangla, semi-confident Assamese, well versed Hindi and mother tongue of my colonised mind English. Like every other protagonist I am loner but needs friends, a little heartbroken yet a lover, a little scared but blunt mouthed and puny yet trouble-seeker.  I hug to my satchel and push my glasses up my nose and take a step forward to convert my dreams into reality. 

I have to connect to different circles of life, I have to cast spell and I must get enchanted by them. The more I brave myself to smile the lesser bleak the world becomes. One day I shall pull away the curtain and drench myself in drops of ecstasy. Every person has a place that they belong to, a safe haven that makes them happy. I who has been a drifter shall blend in the multitude to shine like rainbow.

I jump out of my rickshaw and gallop towards the new address. I unlock the green door to find four empty beds greeting me. My new world is this one single bed which lies under the switch board in a yellow room, today my world is small, but in future my world shall grow. I shall have a group who will teach me the joy of gossiping over a cup of tea and throw intellectual arrows at each other. I shall have my adda soon... 

P.S- finally I am on my own!

thanking you to  bear with me