a terrible painter, a dreamer, a rebel , a feminist and a self certified bisexual Witch. Who is always trying to visualize whats on the other side of the canvas she paints,just another human- Living alive Life. Now also a green tea addict.

Friday, 27 September 2013

Drive-A-Vu part-II

{The part two of my driving experience}

On second day, Bunny Instructor and Knowing were standing at door step early in the morning. Overexcited Daredevil too was up with the first sound of alarm. But the Scared Cat who had hunted words late night was not willing to wake up. It was the time for the scared Cat’s sacred dream time. Yet she was pulled out of her sister’s comfortable bed and was forced to brush and wash her face. Life for next one month was going to be harsh for the scared Cat.

The carbon gray car was again out into the blue to its practice field in Pink College. Pink College was not informed about the training hence its huge gates were locked up. Bunny Instructor took the car to ITI field which was an open ground for masses. Daredevil went on her usual whirlpool of driving, the same story of clutch break accelerator began and smell of burnt oil ran in air. Yet the Daredevil was not the one to back off. The more the car resisted, more the Daredevil suffocated it. An eternal war of the power sprouted between, The Daredevil, Bunny Instructor and the Car. Once the car started to move, the ground became her patriarchal rights. Earth was proved round; the concept of Time-Space-Action happily collided. The people sitting behind were praying to the Goddess to help them survive the day. Bunny Instructor kept whispering “slow sister slow.” But Daredevil either failed to hear it or chose to not respond. When her steering wheel was held by Bunny Instructor from one side, she became agitated and gave up rotating her wheel.  So it became a ‘Universal Truth’ in Daredevil’s mind that her Bunny Instructor was fearful person. This was the final judgment passed for being over careful on Bunny Instructor’s part.  

When Knowing came to wheel, he was forever in his boosted confidence of pre-requisite knowledge about the world of car. The ever smiling brother of the Juxtaposed Sister Duo was in his driver seats and eager to hone his blessing. The god of machines was not so kind to him either; he was destined to the same fate of smell of burnt oil and shaky car. The new car was suffering the same tortures the new bride suffer in daily soaps at hands of her in-laws. Bunny Instructor by god’s grace had the patience of a tortoise. He would calmly yet very sharply point out the mistakes and stupidity committed while driving. The Lesson Knowing got is Practical is always harder than Theory. Saying is easier than doing.

Scared Cat was sleeping and awake at same time. The vision was blurring and the air slapping her face, the sound of hauling car had no effect on the brain. Soon Bunny Instructor called her to grab the already hot seat and hot wheel. With sleepy eyes and slouching body Scared Cat went ahead. The short legs at first failed to reach the clutch, break and accelerator. After gluing her small eyes with the specs she finally found her weapons to step on. Very similar feedback was provided by the car to this humbug of a driver. Inside the heart of the Scared Cat, a murmur was happening, the murmur of extreme fear. The world above the bumper seemed to fade into the rising sun. The rays of the sunlight burned the eyes behind the spectacle.  Her heart kept thumping finally the car started and soon she was rotating her wheel and taking turns with bumps and jumps. Bunny Instructor kept saying her “don’t be afraid and move your hand freely”. Yet the Ignorant Cat kept holding tight unto her wheel. The world behind the backseat of the car was all happy and joyful rides. The Harsh Reality soon had her bite on the paws of the cat: Driving was not going to be a child’s play.

(Meanwhile, Scared Cat’s regular classes had started; the poor cat was sleepy in her classes for next one month. Life was getting worse for her. She could not sleep early nor could she wake up early. Her eyes came to doze off while her lectures were happening. She kept yawning and missed words while writing her answers. It seemed her study time was going to adjust to her long driving lessons for next one month.)

After returning from second day of driving, Daredevil declared her judgment Bunny Instructor was too scared. She also made it a point to make every one realize her younger sister was a Sacred Cat. The mother of the Juxtaposed Sister expected Daredevil’s prejudiced thoughts to change in one week. But the first one week of driving changed the mind of Bunny Instructor. After two days of driving in first gear, Daredevil wished Bunny Instructor to allow her drive in fifth gear. So Bunny decided it was no point in letting the devil drive on field anymore, mean while Knowing to became restless of driving on field. So out of pressure from his students Bunny Instructor promoted both to drive on road. But Scared Cat was not mentioned in this part of decision. 

Soon Daredevil and Knowing were driving the car on roads, with bumps and jumps. The car came to halt on roads, passed goats, cows, dogs etc. The roads were really hard to drive, which was visible later. Bunny Instructor kept holding the steering wheel. Daredevil stopped rotating out of anger and irritation. This lack of coordination resulted in sudden death of car four times. Another time Daredevil chose to enter the wrong lane and entered the slop. Another moment she kept accelerating at first gear to increase speed. She became irritated when her adventure spirit was tamed down. This taming by the polite Bunny always resulted in her eyes bolting up and cheeks turning red Daredevil kept asking for more and more gear, more speed was her eternal demand. When asked why she wanted to be irresponsible driver her reply was simple- The Scared Cat was born with the burden of being responsible not her.  Knowing on the other hand wanted to learn it fast and grasp all the tricks of trade. To which Bunny Instructor was strictly against. While Knowing and Daredevil kept driving on road, Scared Cat chose to finish her nap. She was yet to control her steering wheel and understand her hand-eye-heart coordination. The road seemed far away from the sleepy eyes of the Scared Cat.

P.S – The feeling of thrill was missing from the sleepy eyes, but next week was going to change her pattern.

Thanking you to bear with me                                                                                                                                       paulOaries

Saturday, 21 September 2013

Drive-A-Vu part-I

{This is going to be several part article series. Since I have got few complains of being repetitive in my feminist outlook and missing my humourous pieces, so today I try to write one. The pleasure writing is about my experience of driving lessons I had to endure. }

On my mother’s fifty first birthday our new grey shiny car arrived. After years of travelling in government authorized cars my father had the great enlightenment of buying his own just a year before his retirement.  With the advent of the car came the first problem, who would drive it. At the precise moment the ever enthusiast sister of mine was ready to drive the car without any prior idea about driving car. Yes she was home, which meant normalcy was far from sight. 
Hence the hunt for driving instructor began. I asked my major mates, my father asked his personal chauffeurs, but the target was hit by my mother and sister duo. The son of our family friend found us one.  So the poor fellow had the great task of teaching us driving. He had three different types of students the human version of the Macbethian  witches. The born dare devil- my elder sister. The Mr. know it all - Son of our family friend and finally the eternal coward- me.
So on third August was our first struggle with the car began. To make it as honest as mirror the struggle was purely mine.  The car said goodbye to our home in which sat three nincompoops and an extremely calm adult (technically younger than my sister but an adult in every sense).
 Our calm adult belongs to army, hence I expected him to be very loud, ferocious, strict and scary looking. But my every expectation was turned into ashes. He was too soft spoken, strict but too nice, no sign of ferociousness and far from scary looking. It seemed he was the little rabbit who was going to be eaten by the lioness waiting in the car. My fears came true, the creature in the car was too scary to be handled and our Bunny Instructor was to be gobbled up. Let’s call our dear army brother Bunny Instructor.
Our other companion is the son of our family friend. Being a male in human society had given him the fair advantage of knowing about cars in details. Since the male breed of this nation is practically born on bikes, he had knowledge of clutch, break, accelerator and gears. Road ethics were induced too, which was all contributing to his nature of Mr Know it All. Hence our family brother is called Knowing.
People who have been reading my boring life know the importance of this character. One of the main contributing characters of my life even before my birth and even before gods had decided my sex. My sister who has the supernatural ability to mould every danger and fear that resides in me into her football and kicks that ball to my face. This woman had no idea about driving car but her grinned could device the devil. So confident, radiant and ready to hit the road and rock the roads. So the forever Daredevil was inside the car and itching her fingertips which were throbbing with “I want to drive desire”.
Finally we have me the eternal coward, who foresaw all the silly, grave, gruesome, scary visions in broad day light. I had few personal self experimented experiences with car, hence I knew about clutch, break accelerator and gears. Still I was a wet cat unwilling to leave her cozy couch. Let’s call me the scared Cat.
Our car was taken out by Bunny instructor and our first ground of learning happened to be my Pink College.  Pink College has a huge grazing field, where we sit and share our space with cows, goats, dogs etc. The open field had been a popular spot for learning driving. Alas it was going to mine too which was ringing in my head.  First Daredevil was handed the  honour to start the car in green field. So the loud sound of colliding clutch and accelerator must have woken whole Pink College up. The car was filled with smell of burned oil, but the grin of Daredevil grew bigger with every thrust.  Soon the car was circling like a mary-go-round.   So the broom broom and ditch broom ditch broom went on. 
Next Knowing took the control over. He too woke up whole district with is clutch-accelerator fusion. It was loud and louder with every turn. It seemed our new car was the victim of bride burning cases, she smelled burned oil.  Knowing is our Bunny Instructor’s classmate hence to Knowing’s dismay his priority reduced.
I was in my new car, on the ground of Pink College, wearing the uniform I loathed most. Everything said me don’t drive today. Scared Cat wished to be eaten up by the earth, nothing happened. Hence my first day of acquaintance with new car was destined to happen when I was in my pinkish uniform. So Bunny Instructor asked me start the car, which I did. Next he asked me to press the accelerator and release clutch slowly. While following this procedure, the car jumped, it shaked but for me it was a jump. The car went dead; the smell of burnt oil was again hanging in the air. Again I started the car, same death blow took place. After third attempt my car moved forward, with every second passing I felt my tummy turning and churning inside. In this fear I took two turns of driving, driving straight, sideways, aimless and very tamed. By this time my class time had been ticking in. So I left the grey car with its inhabitant in a shaky manner. I left like an ending scene of an Anime where credit rolls and you know your character won’t meet those people again. I had rolled the credits in my sleeves, but what I had experienced was the prologue to the process. I had to see them again next day. As I walked away from the car, I chose to remain aloof from the afterward part. Still the story was far from it real beginning.

P.S- Yes I am a scared cat

Thanking you to bear with me                                                                                                                             paulOaries