a terrible painter, a dreamer, a rebel , a feminist and a self certified bisexual Witch. Who is always trying to visualize whats on the other side of the canvas she paints,just another human- Living alive Life. Now also a green tea addict.

Sunday, 28 April 2013

Oh my Death







In life we come across people who tend to have an obsession with death and they take pride in their final days. We have had the baroque culture putting its own influences. In teenagers we find that tendency to go for the darker side. Death often becomes the symbol to end suffering, end all the worldly problems. Again death becomes a symbol of revolution, symbol of heartbreak, symbol of end.  Death is all and the ultimate truth of life. If you are born you must die.  Well I am not death loving person, I am all for life. One day I have to face my end so I won’t worry about it till then.
Few days back I saw the film The Fountain, where we find Jackman in three different time zones searching a way to escape the gift of mortality. We find him stating that Death is a disease and there is a cure. I too had an idea sprouting in my mind many times, what if death was an ailment. I have my concepts of creation too, will pen down those thoughts one day.  Let’s go back to disease point, I wonder may be once upon a time when humanity was at its peak point of civilization and that time period is lost to us. May be some industrial or biological hazard took place. That hazard may have released some gas or biological creation by mistake. This mistake resulted in Death. Death stuck with us over all this time.  Since death has become universal we accepted it as ultimate. Since it’s a disease the impact is different on different creature for e.g Dogs can live up to 16years, some birds up to 150years, tortoise for a century and so on. Well that’s a hypothesis of a confused soul like me.

In the same film, Weisz again reads the Mayan mythology of creation. The first father sacrificed himself for creating the world and universe. From his naval grew the tree of life. The concept of tree of life sprouting from naval is not solely Mayan’s; we have Lord Vishnu from whose naval the tree of life grows. Vishnu’s one is not a tree technically but a louts plant. On the flower resides Brahma the father of universe rather universe itself. We are almost similar with the Mayan theory accept the part where first father dies and creates everything. Vishnu is very much alive and his purpose is to preserve.  In Mayan theory, with my limited information I can say destruction and death precedes and provides the road of creation. In Hindu mythology our god of destruction is the lord of all. He is lord Shiva, he destroys the world with his tandav (dance) .  Weisz in the film states Death an act of creation.  Being born with an untamed inclination towards creativity, the quote stuck to me.

What if Death is an act of creation? The culture of sacrifice is not uncommon to Indians.  We need blood to ground of our faith. We have worshiped Goddess Kali, she like her husband lord Shiva is the destroyer. She in her sober and real form that is Parvati is the goddess of preservation. Shiva-Parvati are the symbol of Destruction and Cerativity go hand in hand. Destruction of life is personified with Death and destruction of world in calamities. So it won’t we hard for us to grasp that we need death for creation. If John Donne had his way he would have started anti-campaign against death. In my beloved Sandman, Death is the friend no one wants. Paulo Coelho says Death is sitting opposite to him and waiting for the moment when he is willing to embrace her.  Death is often personified as a female, as a feminist it’s an honor. I wonder if she is wearing all black like portrayed in comics and book or she has her own brand of clothes.
Death in Paradise Lost is the result of incestuous outcome; he was conceived by Sin who was raped by her father Satan. Hence he is the son and brother of Sin, so maybe this shameful birth is the concept behind the sadistic games of in the Final Destination series . In the play Everyman Death is an agent of God who has free will. Death has his own morals and hopes in mankind in the play. In Terry Pratchett ‘s Discworld Books has Death as an skinny rather a skeleton hooded with a scythe. That’s the most common image we find on net. In Sadman she is a charming women who is ever smiling and carrying her duty out.

You might wonder why my cheerful mind suddenly started to talk about Death is such a good weather. So here it goes, I was eavesdropping two old man near my favorite bookshop and technically I was. But it was not intentional, rather happened, I was standing there and these men were standing near the sweetmeat shop and speaking of the life gone by, family, children, jobs and sipping tea. I assume both were retired and out for evening walk. One of them was small and had potbelly and other was well built and wrinkly.  Mr. Pot belly blood sugar problem so he avoided the tempting rasgullas and saying to other “Your entire life you work like an ass and in the end you get diseases and death as an gift”. The other nodded and said “It all comes down to a zero in the end.”   The same attitude flows from the mouth of the silent significant character of my story: my father. I often find my old man cranky and sad that his retirement is near and he had once used the very same words “It all comes down to zero in the end”. On the other hand my grandfather is a man of life, never looking for his end. May be my sister and me, we both have inherited that spirit- to live.
It might be possible when people turn old they turn cranky and one to hold on the life they lived and fear the zero. One day who knows I too will become cranky old cat lady. I will sit in my arm chair with my cats on my lap, on my feet and everywhere. I too will wait for death and curse it. Well that’s for my present life to decide. If I live fullest in my youth and retire active, I surely will curse everyone around. If I live boring life I will become cranky any way. Let’s wait until then. Right now I fear death, not the Death Phobia; I am neither death obsessed who will think about it day and night. Well I really don’t want a zero in the end , one will also be fine, but not a zero.  If my readers if I have any, and if they are of my father’s age please know that your retirement doesn’t make you worthless and it’s not a zero in the end.

She or He, single or a group, abstract or solid, we never know what Death can be. So I will stick to my hypothesis, it might be an ailment. There must be a cure. Now if the cure lies on other side we can’t help it.
P.S- I am not suffering from any deathly disease and my mental balance is fine. It’s just those two old man and the film The fountain  forced my brained to pen about Death.


thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries                                                                                                                                                                         

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