a terrible painter, a dreamer, a rebel , a feminist and a self certified bisexual Witch. Who is always trying to visualize whats on the other side of the canvas she paints,just another human- Living alive Life. Now also a green tea addict.

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Education and me...

Many of my friends can trace back the first day of school in their memory but I cant. I loathed studying, I hated my first school, I feared my first teachers. For me everyday was a war in school. So why should my first day be different? As from the fables which my Mom tells to people I can make out that I was pain to her in my initial years of learning. I use to cry, shout, vomit, not visit washrooms till school was over. I had made their life pathetic. Sometimes I didn't step out of School Bus, other time I did not write a single classwork. For all this I used to get beaten up almost everyday at home. 

The word 'Exam' has always created terror in mind of students, I was no exception.. I was no exception when the results came out. I was always below average, got the remarks very poor, can do better, my report cards always had C, D and occasional A and B's.. I could never remember, I had no interest in studies. The process of Education was never friendly with me. In my younger days I loved maths, so fate had almost inscribed me to be an Engineer like my father. Well all this changed as soon as I entered grade 6, my love for maths vanished. I started to study for first time in Life.. By the time I reached grade 10 I had developed immense love for literature. No I did not start writing then. But I had found my choice to deviate.. Finally I erased out the possibility to be the fourth Engineer in family by choosing Humanities over Science..

When I entered B.R.P.L Vidyalaya I entered at point blank Aim range. Before I started my awesome journey in the School that changed my life, my Mom said "Don't let my faith in you waste, give me good result and make me proud." May be it was her words which compelled me to work hard. It was always her who has been the support and source of inspiration in my life. Hence my hard work was visible from the first periodical exams in school. Finally I settled for Fifth position in my school. It was in our school that for first time I tasted the wine of being good student and one among the toppers. To be honest I never even crossed the 20th position in my earlier school. But Goddess has been kind to me in my work.

Few days back my second semester result came out, and yes I have something twisted too. The result came out around 7 p.m in evening, but to my luck, our area code was invalid. Yes the Commerce results were out, my friend from commerce stream was yelling on phone that results were out. But our results were not out. I was praying that my GPA from first semester must prevail. But I had my fears as my Poetry paper was not written well up to my expectations. Though my teachers were sure of same result, I was doubtful. The very next day I had Philosophy exam, and I could not find my result. I could neither study nor sleep. From 7 p.m I was online on university website till 2 a.m. I bugged my best friends, close friends, my mother, and the professor who is our tenant. Finally I messaged my HOD on facebook, it was he who made me understand that our results were not yet uploaded. But then after lamenting, cursing my fate again I slept at 2 a.m. In morning I woke up late, few hours before Philosophy exam. I rushed to my Laptop, in case the result got updated but "NO" they were not. 

Then my new good close major Mate texted me an hour later that she was coming to my home, and we shall walk to exam hall. Just fifteen minutes before she would step out, she asked me to check the website again. So we both took the last gamble of fate, and decided it was going to be our last try. To my dragon tooth's wish, my result was out. Yes I maintained the same GPA. I was so relaxed and happy. Then I checked everyones' result and texted them. Another news broke too, for first time in life I Topped.. I shared the position with last semester's Topper. But I- that's Me- TOPPED!!!... Now I wanted to enjoy the moment, after one year of twisted fate and mishaps finally I got what I always thought was never possible. Though I did not top university, but I topped my college department. Now I have more hard work to do.

Today I want to shout and tell those people who said my future is dark " Does my future look Dark?" No do not mistake I am proud about this little achievement. My Mom has always told me that I was born to achieve something great, but never to be proud of anything. Yes I do take pride in my upbringing, family heritage and ideals, but I have tried my best never to see anyone with inferior eyes, who has given me that right?  

Today I just wanted tell everyone my life has been very short and boring in major parts, but I have learned my lessons every now and then. I found hard work is easier done then said. I have proven it at times. I have built myself with hard work and only hard work. If anyone asks my philosophy while studying and growing up than it has to be it. Its a Shloka by Rishi Bhardwaj, which I learned in 4th grade. The lines are:-

karat karat abhyaas ke, jadmat hoth Sujaan

rasri aavat jaat hai, sir par hot nisaan

loose translation means, regular exercise makes the mind sound, like the rope use to pull water out of well leaves a mark behind

P.S- There is no substitute for hard work. 

thanking you to bear with me

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Time To STOP

Today I have no twisted tales, no happy go lucky girl post, no silly obsessions or an alternate view of world. Today I have anger bolted inside me for past three months. I am tired of being Ignorant or Blind to the happenings in my country.

My Country India at its present state is going through a  difficult time. By difficult Time I mean "Very Difficult". The country is suffering from mass outbursts from different part of the country. We are having protests after protests. 

I have lived in land of nature and revolt- Assam my state has been suffering her fair share of problems for more then thirty years now. Presently my state is having ethnic riots. Many have lost lives, home, jobs and sense of security. Some group claims sovereignty of Assam another separate state from Assam. Is Assam Cake that every other political and social group wants a piece ? Has anyone asked what we the common people want. In this claim of sovereignty thousands and thousands have lost life. Now we have an anger going on about immigrants living in my state. Today in my town, a bomb blast took place near my favorite Flyover. I could have been one of the victims lying in hospital or dead  today, as I regularly walk the flyover. When ever my cousin calls me her first question is " How is the situation in your state?" We have been branded as land of Guns and Bombs. When a government is trying to develop its state. Alas private greed of  some create havoc in the State. If anyone asks me what I want the answer is "PEACE". Give me my peace, not the peace that will be created after every Individual is dead, but the peace that unites us.

As for my Country as a whole, we have various states in which different socio-political groups are demanding a state free from people speaking other mother tongues. Again other states having Panchayats who are making parallel laws and crushing down the very aspect of Democracy. Then we have various new datas coming up about our country-India tops in G20 countries as worst place to be as a woman, India again tops in having highest Illiterate adults. Then we have Scams, the  3g scam, the Coal scam. Though we have few states who are working hard to keep the countries name. We have groups opposing  construction of Dams, Nuclear Power plants etc. We have Maoist Insurgency. We have party politics allowed in colleges and universities through Student Union. We have blood group C running down the veins of every- Corruption. We have Corruption as an Open Secret. Everyone is part of it yet none to blame on. We have youths being college drop outs, getting addicted to drugs and other misleading problems. We have a trend rising called Moral Policing people take it upon themselves to decide who is good or bad. Our education system is age old our mindset ancient. So what do we want?

We have every other political party blaming other for the damage, a opposition which is trying to bring government down instead of working with government to develop country. We have leaders hankering after money and misleading youth, we have a Media who enjoys being a link between mass and Breaking News instead of being an instrument of change and awareness. 

We want our sense of security back, we want a better future free of dirty politics and development. Why can't we be like Japan or better than them? We want our chance to have Brighter, Better and  Safer India.

As an Indian where do I stand? Has my "I" no value? Or is the value of my "I" reduced to just 'i'. The freedom expression is being curbed. Aseem Tivedi a young cartoonist is but behind Jail under the charges of sedition. Is our government insecure of a mere expression of protest? Mr Trivedi is charged for disrespecting the National Emblem. His anger is justified through his art. Are we not allowed to express our problems with the government which swears to govern us?  We have raised the honor of our Constitution  as Holy Book. It is no less then Bible, Gita or Koran. But the holy books are not free of errors either nor is our Constitution. The law of Sedition must be out ruled not because Mr. Trivedi is charged with it but the law is misused against common people like Farmers. The law is against our Fundamental Right- Freedom of Expression. As counter for Mr. Tivedi's cartoon, was our Parliament respected when few days back the Parliamentarians  came down to verbal and physical abuse? 

I request all my fellow countryman to wake up and aware themselves of the happenings. We are safe inside our houses, but how long will the house stand when the land below is becoming hollow. Not every politician is bad, nor every government officer is corrupt, neither every police officer is misusing his power. We have been living in a country which is world largest Democracy, we cant let power hungry wolfs turn it into worlds largest De-MocKracy. 

I would like every body to read about the Sedition Law and sign the Petition to release Mr. Trivedi. As I firmly believe in Freedom Of Expression. I have faith and I want to make it sure- my "I" has not reduced  to mere 'i'.

Only words  that come out is "Enough let us have our life back.I am tired of waiting, I want all this to STOP if doesn't  happen sooner more people will come to streets to protest and I fear a Civil War will not be a surprise (technically not possible) "

Its time to end the chaos going on, we should remember universe was created out of chaos. So we hope the chaotic time ends and we can start afresh for Future India. 

P.S- As a youth of our country I want Change- Brighter, Better and Safer India.

thanking you to bear with me

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

taught-ing Day....

Knowledge Thou Art Great 

Our country celebrates Teachers Day on 5th of September every year. The day is celebrated on birthday of  respected Dr. Sarvepalli Radakrishnan the second President of our country. Every year all the schools big or small, government or private celebrate this one day to the fullest. Students all over the country try to make this day special for their beloved teachers in their own way....

I still remember my childhood days when whole night we use to wake up and make greetings card for our teachers. We use to have before hand instructions by teachers to not buy gifts. So my creative urges had been boosted on this days. My Alma mater D.P.S had its own tradition of teachers day. Till grade tenth I enjoyed each and every teachers day.

But occasional disappointing moment came up too when Sunday fell on calendar. All my life in D.P.S I grew up with a dream to be teacher for one day. In grade Four I saw my sister wear an orange Saree to be her favorite teacher. I too cherished that dream to play the role of one teacher for a day. My sister got this chance four times as during her time students were less to cover up the large Teaching Faculty of School. Today my cousin brother will also go to his school dressed up as teacher. Few years down the line my cousin sister will go to dressed up as teacher. 

But I never got that chance. I left D.P.S after tenth grade, and to become teacher one had to study in twelfth grade. But I left, hence one more dream remains unfulfilled (sometimes Fate is too jealous of my awareness and greed to accumulate experiences,  they snatch away opportunities from me). I had many experiences  with teachers day from decorating room to bringing homemade cake. To blowing balloons to running after class teacher to gift her. I had a great teachers day on my ninth grade as I was member of students council previous year. So we had great time being part of the function organized  by the seniors. We were fed and pampered and we loved it and still cherish the moment in heart,. To this day I cherish every moment spent...

Joining BRPL Vidyalaya was more rewarding, my eleventh grade teachers day was different. Here our juniors from grade ninth were teachers and tenth grader organized. And we seniors were spectators of functions,. On final year we went running late organizing our class party. My friend Anji and I got the board decorating part, in general we were great Black Board Lovers, cleaning it, writing thought for day, soccer news, movie updates and book watch. It was our own world. But on that day our board was decorated with white chalk, ribbons, balloons etc. Our teachers cut the cake and we devoured it. My last teachers day was fun and involving. Though Pink College has not given me my share of experience yet my fingers are crossed.... 

here is the picture of only memory I could capture of teachers day

the beloved board rather attempted decoration done by Anji and me

Still the witch in my heart wants to wear a green saree and enter the classroom and impersonate her favorite teacher. I wish all my respected teachers a very happy teachers day. They have molded me today to what I am and I will be indebted to them forever,,.

P.S- The Three witches snatch my dreams away, but I never stop dreaming even if its childish or highly   ambitious. 

thanking you to bear me