a terrible painter, a dreamer, a rebel , a feminist and a self certified bisexual Witch. Who is always trying to visualize whats on the other side of the canvas she paints,just another human- Living alive Life. Now also a green tea addict.

Thursday, 30 August 2012

scribbling life.

As I was chewing up the back of my pencil during philosophy class today, I realized I have been neglecting my beloved blog past two months, I have no excuse that I was busy or didn't have time. To be honest I didn't get the right mood and topic to write about. Many things happened in my State in last two months but I refrained from writing about them as I did not feel it.

Back to chewing pencil moment:- I also realized I completed one year of my Pink College Life. Now the blues have become tolerable, and the color pink is still not my Favorite. I look back one whole year behind me.

Last one year had been very painful, ironical,paradoxical, spiritual and traumatic for me in the beginning. My friends went outside to study, and I came back from Delhi University, I had the great experience of joining three colleges at a go.. I remember the words I uttered to my sister when I decided to Leave Delhi - Beggars Cant Be Choosers, my best friend and soul sister also left for their respective institutions. For first time I realized the meaning of being lonely even when you are surrounded by the crowd. I understood the difference between being Alone and being Lonely. I was at the highest peak of pessimism- sleeping, eating crying, shouting, and hating everything.

But this blog helped get back on life, I joined Pink College late by almost two months, yet I claimed second position in my department ( not being proud, but great-full to the one looking at me). So while chewing pencil I realized I changed, though I wont claim maturity, but I grew. Again I found some habits have become my nature, which even the Pink College Blue could not take away from me.

Two habits I developed in Pink College.

1. My creative skills in writing. ( which you have been reading for a while now).
2. My creative skills in Art.

Lets elaborate part II, before writing Art has been my first love, before writing alphabets I started drawing. My habit of scribble art dates back to the age of one. All my life I have been scribbling small, big, round, fat anything and everything behind the back of my notebooks, study books even library books. My Mother was my first teacher and till today the biggest critic of mine. This Scribbling caused me to get punished even in my final year of school.

So can I stop scribbling despite being sad for few stupid reason, NO I cant. So here are handful of scribbles and few art I did for myself.

This drawings are created when my imagination runs wild

cant stop my hand

Art for Arts sake

I feel I am Willam Blake reborn
Art is my passion
If I dont draw I never understand poetry

the caricature are of different poem drawn here as I did not have the actual poem 

I love Blake's Lamb

Its my pencil not me

same thoughts

We  exist cause we think

Feminist Art

How can I understand If I do not draw

End of Book scribbles

My madness is not limited to my books but even my study, Ariel view of my study.  

Art- Heaven, drew first Semester 

Art- Mortal land, drew second Semester

Art- Pleasurable Hell, drew this semester 

In case you think I just brag, our department wall magazine I helped too

My madness personified in her (pardon me I dont have scanner)
Being Alone

never alone

obsessed  with winged creatures, faeries since age of One 
my personal love a warrior woman

a closer view of my study there is the boat of Coelho, mountain of class X, Hill of  5th position

I even painted the edges of my study.
the wonderland of my imagination

The Highland of paulOaries

The spaceship of my school

The never climbed Mountain of DU

rotten house of ideals
My achievements, desires, failures, everything has got place in my study, big or small, I wonder how such a small desk can accumulate my 19years of life. Yet the study inspires me to work hard and better and move in life. If anyone wants an autobiography of mine then this is it.

If you felt I just scribbled, no I draw, I paint too, Art- Primma Donna my best painting till date,
Art my first Love, art helps me learn better, see better and interpret better,. Had I not been in love with imagining things, I would have been any other soul wandering the streets just to get education to make living.

P.S- not very constant writing today, but had to share it and the Page Witch's Obsession has been updated with new orphaned shoes.

thanking you to bear with me

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Fairy Tales and I

Any ordinary girl when starts frequenting her self with alphabets, in general meets fairy tales by the age of three. Though my childhood was no different I too loved fairy tales. The words "Once Upon A time" a classic piece of master wordsmith. They "Happily Lived Ever After". The hard work of Cinderella rewarded, the pure heart of Belle rescuing her love, Aurora sleeping ten decades for love,. The very common of tales I mentioned, few are tracing my memory the -Bengali Fairy tales with the twists by gods, all have happy endings.

To be honest I still love Fairy tales, as soon as I stumble upon Andrew Lang's books I grab them. Though here we are met by different tales, its in Lang's book that I realised for first time Little Red Ridding Hood was gobbled by Wolf/Fox. Its then when I felt Fairy Tales were not always Fairy-some. Oscar Wilde opened my eyes with his twisted tales, which had fairy tale qualities and narrative but are highly allegorical and ironical. But when I hear word Fairy Tale I still clung to the old idea of fair maiden being married to a rich prince. 

When a girl enters teen zone she moves to more mature fairy tales- Chick lit's, yes I love them too, stories are based same plots, only background, time, space and environment change. From Knight in Armour we have Business Tycoon in BMW. From fair hard working Maiden we have Strong Independent Modern Woman. But theme remains same "True Love".They fight, they shout, they love, and finally they kiss. Mills and Boons help relaxing my mind a lot when its tired of serious and good Literature of Marquez or newly acquainted  Kafka or Pamuk. Then there are commercial  writing which I mentioned in my last post the Male Chick lit's. These books provide the male fairy tales.

Fairy Tales and I have long relation a comradeship of sixteen years. We girls despite all the happenings never fail to create a fancy world of our dreams. We all want to be kissed when we turn sweet sixteen, we want to meet our prince and marry him off and live happily ever after. I feel no shame admitting  I too shared that view. Well I am a die hard fan of the twilight book series, and most people loathe it. But I too have out grown my Infatuation with the series of lately. Its not because I am a student of English Literature and I am learning better books, but its my feminist ideologies that's slowly making me grow up out of young adult literature.

Again I love Anime, yes they even give life to my wildest imaginations. Out of all Fairy tale Anime, there's one particular Anime which has been close to my imaginative bud. This Anime connected my Soul Sister  with me since seventh grade. Princess Tutu is a magical girl series by Ikuko Itoh. The series is a beautiful story where the characters with in the story change their fate from supposed tragic end to happy ending. Its not particularly what a feminist would love. Yet the story has had charmed me time and again. But being a super fan of the series I didnot like the ending with Which Ahiru ( Duck in Japanese, also Duck in the English dubbed series, Princess tutu herself is a duck) and Fakir ( the Knight reborn from the book the Prince and the Raven.)  meet in the end. When one is twelve and obsessed  with cartoons and fairy tales, one tries to write an end to something she feels was needed. Yes I did try with my Soul Sister to write an alternate ending, but we failed. But finally I got my happy ending for my favorite Ahiru and Fakir in a fan fiction. After reading that Fan fiction I felt delighted and I want to hug those two writers who did a great work. 
 If my readers if any one reads me, would like to read the 18chapters fan fiction written can read it. I would first request you watch the condensed episodes in  Youtube to relate better to the fan fiction. 

Fairy Tales have become part of  my thought processes, now days I can see my twisted fairy tales  (not mine, but something similar goes in my head) to come to life in movies, I always wanted to see Snow White fight for her Right, again the French Movie Sleeping Beauty by Catherine Breillat is so absurd and beautiful we can find it on Youtube. It has become a joy now days to read fairy tales and compare them with movies. The whole sensibility has changed, now we no longer find Damsel In Danger. Damsels are now proud of being She-power, she needs no protection and she can fight her way out. Now no Cinderella will run of with one glass slippers, as she loves her true identity, no Snow White will let an Old Step Mother ruin her, no Rapunzel is letting any prince climb the tower with help of her beautiful long groomed hair. Fairy tales are changing for good.  

The words are changing between "Once upon a time" and "They lived happily ever after". There are many untold stories, adventure and magic, now beginning and ending are not what matters most but the journey in between words. In my own world of fairy tales I don't have a Unicorn as pet rather a Dragon, not a castle of Pink of but a beach house full of green, no gowns but shorts, no heels but pumps. Wow my life is far better then reality, Fiction has helped me survive last one year, fiction will help me figure out next two years too,

P.S- Still we love the scenes where first kiss takes place, and camera rolls and The End comes up stating they lived Happily Ever After. 

thanking you to bear with me