a terrible painter, a dreamer, a rebel , a feminist and a self certified bisexual Witch. Who is always trying to visualize whats on the other side of the canvas she paints,just another human- Living alive Life. Now also a green tea addict.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

a sorry to Sanj



To be immortal ....

That's something we all want ( Off course I want to be Immortal), here I am not speaking about never dying: but about never being unknown..
Few days back my Professor was teaching about the genres of  writing when he started to speak about:- Diary Writing.

Now this topic made me attentive in a otherwise boring class, we learned about  Pepys's Diary - technically the first diary writer- written about science and business,. Then we came to world's most famous Diary ever written, Anne Frank's diary, a diary which made me motivated  to start my own diary.

Well for an 8th grader life was really simple, so what would she write about? she wrote about the competition she won, about crushes she had, and her the then boyfriend, and to my dismay my sister was after my diaries...  , well I have been a diary collector/ journal collector . So the real meaning of Dairy came  to my life on my fourteenth birthday when my Friend Maineo gifted me worlds most charming journal.... The pages were pink, with watermarks and cute bear. I knew , this was it.. So for last four years I have been penning down on this diary... Well I follow a very similar pattern of Entries as Anne Frank's, I am not coping her, but I liked her way.

But Why am I writing about Journals? Where Did Immortal Go....


So, My diary is called Sanj ( Saanjh) , female Protagonist of my life ( my imaginary friend )...  Well Sanj ( Saanjh) comes from Sanskrit word meaning evening/twilight too, I am obsessed with twilight. I just picked the name from some old daily soap viewed by my Elder sister.
Well my teacher said, many people wrote Diaries to become Immortal, to which Karl Marx was against, I assume he was both correct and incorrect too. Well in this quest to be immortal , I began with same passion, but after four years I realized its about being alive till the last breathe.

Again Immortal says -I am Mortal....

    In past last Seven months I have refrained from penning my emotions rather confess my distress mind to Sanj. In this anger against no one, I lost the joy of writing, my every hope, my every dream  was penned in her. I was lacking in the will to face my own reality, I was not willing to confess my version of Truth.

 Until day before yesterday, I understood, I have to restart creating my dream from the scraps of broken joys, I have to make plans to be better, to include new stories, new joys, new hopes, new way of being Me.

So again I started to write from where my Dream to become a writer comes I went back to my source of joy..., I have to respect my base, and create a new Aim to work hard for...

so I apologize to Sanj for deserting you for almost a year.......

P.S-  So D.U, you lost a wonderful student like me, but I didn't loose my Dreams, watch me, I will Top Pink College, and become a writer.....

thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries

1 comment: