a terrible painter, a dreamer, a rebel , a feminist and a self certified bisexual Witch. Who is always trying to visualize whats on the other side of the canvas she paints,just another human- Living alive Life. Now also a green tea addict.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

a sorry to Sanj



To be immortal ....

That's something we all want ( Off course I want to be Immortal), here I am not speaking about never dying: but about never being unknown..
Few days back my Professor was teaching about the genres of  writing when he started to speak about:- Diary Writing.

Now this topic made me attentive in a otherwise boring class, we learned about  Pepys's Diary - technically the first diary writer- written about science and business,. Then we came to world's most famous Diary ever written, Anne Frank's diary, a diary which made me motivated  to start my own diary.

Well for an 8th grader life was really simple, so what would she write about? she wrote about the competition she won, about crushes she had, and her the then boyfriend, and to my dismay my sister was after my diaries...  , well I have been a diary collector/ journal collector . So the real meaning of Dairy came  to my life on my fourteenth birthday when my Friend Maineo gifted me worlds most charming journal.... The pages were pink, with watermarks and cute bear. I knew , this was it.. So for last four years I have been penning down on this diary... Well I follow a very similar pattern of Entries as Anne Frank's, I am not coping her, but I liked her way.

But Why am I writing about Journals? Where Did Immortal Go....


So, My diary is called Sanj ( Saanjh) , female Protagonist of my life ( my imaginary friend )...  Well Sanj ( Saanjh) comes from Sanskrit word meaning evening/twilight too, I am obsessed with twilight. I just picked the name from some old daily soap viewed by my Elder sister.
Well my teacher said, many people wrote Diaries to become Immortal, to which Karl Marx was against, I assume he was both correct and incorrect too. Well in this quest to be immortal , I began with same passion, but after four years I realized its about being alive till the last breathe.

Again Immortal says -I am Mortal....

    In past last Seven months I have refrained from penning my emotions rather confess my distress mind to Sanj. In this anger against no one, I lost the joy of writing, my every hope, my every dream  was penned in her. I was lacking in the will to face my own reality, I was not willing to confess my version of Truth.

 Until day before yesterday, I understood, I have to restart creating my dream from the scraps of broken joys, I have to make plans to be better, to include new stories, new joys, new hopes, new way of being Me.

So again I started to write from where my Dream to become a writer comes I went back to my source of joy..., I have to respect my base, and create a new Aim to work hard for...

so I apologize to Sanj for deserting you for almost a year.......

P.S-  So D.U, you lost a wonderful student like me, but I didn't loose my Dreams, watch me, I will Top Pink College, and become a writer.....

thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries

Friday, 13 January 2012

13th Friday :P


How could I miss such a auspicious day?
No I cant, though I didn't have a misadventure, or twist of fate, yet I cant stop mumbling, So here are few words on a Just Another Day.....
 as whole day has past, and its minutes to midnight, yet, I did not fall, break leg, or get kicked off college, or been asked to leave home.....
And my dad came to home, today, with  grace of God he is fit and fine, .........


Friday the 13th a day hated  all over the world, pathetically we call our selves modern yet we fail to clear our mind of darkness.
So what misfortune did I have today?
I am down with fever and to my good luck  I didn't go to Pink College,.
So I fail to see anything unlucky for me, Its time to wake up.
 Stop blaming, days, number, year and nonsense logic for ill-fate.

Well new year began with 13/jan/friday/2012, so lets jump and pack our bags, because world End's on   21/12/2012...... that's a Friday toooo

P.S-  we will be medieval till the end of time, one feet on boat of logic and one feet on boat of superstitions

thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries

Saturday, 7 January 2012

tragic trophy tale......



                          Everything comes to me in a twisted manner, that's my first & final lesson of new year.

              I had a eventful week. I must say, though Pink College and I are not on friendly terms yet we have come to an agreement.
                  This week was College Week, a grand week to show off our talents in respect of  academics, sports, cultural and Fashion wise. Whole college was colorful , first time Pink College was not pink but, yellow, blue, red, green, orange, - a Pallet with its own fable.....
                        So I missed the first day of college week, technically missing the  Short story writing  competition. May be I lost a glorious chance to express the writer in me, nah... I am born to be a writer ( I have far fetched imagination, Writer and me?? )
              Second Day I began my Day loosing  in the first competition - News reading, I had no idea how to do it. Hence this loss made me more determined to do well in next competitions.   I won both Symposium and Extempore  to my bliss. But I lost in On Spot Poetry competition the poet in me is yet to be mature or grow............
           Third day was Debate day for me, so left home with extra enthusiasm and more power in my voice. But of course my seniors were better than me. So I came third ,. Whats the taste of win without a loss?? Well at last moment I decided to participate at quiz, but had no partner Thanks to my new mate who found a super cute senior of mine with brains, So my partner and  I become second highest scoring  team in preliminary round. But in finals we both failed to grab even a single point, we lost at Zero... Everything comes to zero in the end. But this loss was embarrassing one   .......
               Fourth day was prize distribution and cultural evening, I had the misspell  of fate, so I got a chance to announce the prize winners. Alas to my twisted fate, I didn't get my trophies on appointed day.
So next day I received them after a long wait and enough of Drama , the best orator  was angry with his tiny trophy we furious  over fear of getting  old trophies......

Now that cant be so simple can it? Never, When I have something Happy, Fate has to twist it... Nothing comes for me Normal

Element Of Surprise     
as soon as I reached home, and gave my trophies to Mom, one of the trophies came of its Wooden base.......
 The first ever trophies of my life, alas, one of them wanted to make me more happy so he detached himself from his base to increase the number of trophies...
The picture below is a proof, this is not fabrication of my imaginative mind, but harsh reality....

P.S- my tarot cards speak anything in excess is not good for me.... Duh, it was not meant for my trophies... are you listening??? the Three Sisters - not the trophies....

thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries.

Sunday, 1 January 2012

Re- Solutions

Resolutions ???

I make them to break them.... no I lied, I fulfilled  six (6)  resolutions out of  seven (7) I  made for 2011....

 Since 2012 is the end of world, I want to die a reformed human..... No I am lying again, I want everyday to be my day, and make me free.....

Resolutions are simple to excute, I have been a person of rules and order but at same time I have been the follower of  choice and freedom. Some people find resolutions to be a way to tame them, control them. No its not true, everything is in mind.... We can be in chains, orders, any form of groups, but we can be free, we can fly with out wings....... Resolutions are made to guide us in path  
  of confusion.......

So here are my resolutions rather RE- SOLUTIONS to same problem same quests, same story of same life,.....

1. Top in every Subject in Pink College.. ( too big dream)
2. To get rid of extra fats in my body.
3. To be free of guilt, remorse, and WHAT IF??
4. To learn three new things.....
5. To lessen my Facebook addiction,
6. To read all the books present in my Bookshelf ( hard one)
7. To make new plans for old mistakes.......
8. To smile and be less cave-woman...

that's it, I love my self too much, I am not the one who is going to change my self,  I want to amend few glitches present in me. But never to be  remodeled or recreated or replaced by What people want me to be.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, let the year gone be kissed goodbye, and the new year be embraced with Pandora's hope.........

P.S -  the phrase that defines me :- I am Celebration, of myself, of life, of my universe.........


thanking you to bear with me
paulOaries