a terrible painter, a dreamer, a rebel , a feminist and a self certified bisexual Witch. Who is always trying to visualize whats on the other side of the canvas she paints,just another human- Living alive Life. Now also a green tea addict.

Saturday, 29 October 2011

Diwali treat to me

this is a real story, Diwali treat to me.......,
                                                                     Being an super coward and highly cracker phobic I expected my Diwali to be  same, like all the years gone by.. Me sitting and watching my brave elder sister and fearless cousins enjoying with crackers. TO hide  the truth about my brave heart , I keep chanting the great words SAVE ENVIRONMENT , but technically it has no effect,.  All my life, Diwali has terrified me most.... 
            This Diwali something more embarrassing was stored in my Fate... rather more typically "Me" story was to be engraved in my legendary life....
            After being pushed and pulled, and lot of lectures I agreed to go out with my Elder sister and Devil Cousins. The plan was simple, we were to visit certain Pujias that came in our diameter of safety. So we all got furnished and fragmented ,.
  I being a very pretty young lady discarded my blue canvas shoes for my Huge Flat Heel shoes. Those shoes were bought by me for 150 bucks ( my pocket money) in sale...They were lovely and multicolored. Who knew that this would hurt my lovely blue canvas, that they would curse me...
               So we were on our way, and after watching two Pujias and munching down Egg-rolls, we were on our way to third Puja. This Pujia  was taking place in a temple. So I was little  hesitant  to open my shoes and enter. But to our luck we could were the shoes and go inside. We saw the Puja, took snaps. and gaily were on our way to fourth Puja. 
                But my Blue Canvas shoes had complained Maa Kali ( Goddess Kali), that I chose brand-less sale shoes over them.  Maa had also seen that, I was not willing to open my shoes to enter the temple. Hence the curse and complain of Blue Canvas paid heed in her ears.  She said " let her be shoe less"
               So soon my Sole ( my huge white flat Heel) came off, in front of the queue of Children guarding the entrance....  Laughter broke out, my own huge smile was high on air too. I was not so much in shame but my lovely sister and cousins were Hence I bade my lovely shoes Adieu. was on my way shoelessss...
                    WE walked out of there and I was in my green socks.. a lovely scene to watch. and somehow we manged to get an auto back home... But my cousin brother has not  forgiven me, and my Facebook wall is filled with Shame On You .........    

P.S- Diwali is always up to do no good to me..

thanking you to bear with me

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

pearls of wisdom: GREED

         Once upon a time a  girl and her family were  guests to her aunt's home. ... A wedding was taking place, blushed cheeks, wet eyes, and boring talks  were visible all around. This made the girl bored and uneasy, and her lovely father noticed her restlessness....
      So the man took his restless daughter for a walk around  the market. He said," Look at all the Faces, and say what  do you see?" Daughter replied ordinary, satisfied people with life....  The word Ordinary and  Satisfaction made a one sided conversation of life time... ....  
                              This care for daughter and restlessness of mind resulted in a Pearl of Wisdom, an unique and original one....

The Man said:

"Never do my daughter fall for the ordinary, if you wish to be just a face in crowd you better be a mask. If you aim ordinary you will achieve nothing.  The happiness of ordinary is predictable,. But never equal to the happiness of surprise given by life. The charm of ordinary is hard to repel yet may you never be just a name...... Dream big till you are in the Box one day...."

"Never say I am satisfied, always work hard to improve and change. Life means never to stop.. You have to be the North Wind which shall not stop for one.... Be greedy for more, greed makes you awake, it makes you dream, it makes you alive..... The reason to live is you, not what others define.. Satisfaction is to be attained when you knock the Great Door and you are unified with Thee..."

What do you think, what is that we want from life satisfaction or  to live every moment the way it is?

P.S- I choose greed to live life.......

thanking you to bear with me

Friday, 14 October 2011

the Egg-manic


                                               Food the reason of living, as I said before, I live to eat..... Every food has its own tales to be tasted... There is one particular Food item,  no one can have enough...
                      The miracle  of the first bite of an Egg is similar to the first bite of the Apple  by Adam and Eve....  They ate the Apple not because they wanted Knowledge. But simple, they could not resist the temptation at the view of the lovely Red Apple.
                                Today I write about my all time Greed EGG.  The biggest gift of  Dionysus - egg. Round, and shining like a pearl... When Pouched its  divine. Scrambled and with bread a whole some breakfast.  Mixed with bread crumb dust- finest batter for any fry..
                                            Egg is a very friendly thing, you mix it, or beat it, or  fry eat,. But every time you will  have a Fantastic recipe that makes your senses run... When your friend say your lunch was great, you say Egg was in it,,, The secret to love food and learn cooking - one should start with egg.....  Never say no to egg. you can even make  tasteless spinach yummy with egg in it....
                     My first experiment  with cooking was done with egg, and there was no turning back. Every type of Omelet is a  Masterpiece....  A salad becomes edible when you have lovely eggs smiling to you..  After potato egg comes second in the race to most friendly food item...
                           Whenever you see me licking my plate with greedy requesting eyes  to my Mom- you should  know I just had an Egg... Its never enough with one egg.......
                        If  2012 is the end of earth, I must run now to the shops to request them to supply me with eggs everyday until the world ends.....

P.S-  Eggs are best no matter in what form they are on your plates.... ( inspired from the movie Julie and Julia)

thanking you to bear with me

Thursday, 13 October 2011

Confused till next year...

                                 Every one faces a problem in there life about the choices they have. But today I have second thought regarding the choices I have made. Being a clear head and knowing what I  want, was never me. I was planned always, but never clear in sight.
                      I  always chose what I felt, and  made the best out of limited. Always being a rebel has proved my brains are in my knees, I supported  Humanities over Science.  Erasing out the possibility of Being the fourth Engineer in family .
 Yesterday I had an interesting    talk with my Professor  regarding studies and my uncomfortable attitude  for Pink College...., well of course I want to leave Pink College next year, I really don't want to loose my one whole year. But again my closest Friends have suggested to Leave this College. Its not that I am very good student, but I don't want this.  God I am so confused, I don't know what I am boring You about.
                            But the main reason and problem of my head is, Am I Studying the Right Subject???I chose English as my Major subject.  Everyone said it was the best option for a student from Humanities.  Being in Top Five in my school made me think I was on the right Subject. But I wonder if I did the right choice......
                     To me studies are top priority but this priority is little blur. I want to Graduate, do Masters, I want to teach in Colleges... but I fail to see that I am not excited about the subject I love,... Rather I am still Angry that my luck who kicked my ambition of studying in the Best University of the country. I was so near to grasp my dream, when the Boat turned around. Again I should be great full to Pink College to give me a seat at last moment, (a month later). Still I feel nothing, I am so mean....
                                         This year has been heaven and hell for me.... but but but, Time doesn't heel anger, that's against no one- this proves I am not mature....
    Moral of the Story is  - that never let your small and happy dreams go big by your loving, overprotective, supportive family... ( no more, nothing about them, they tried to give me best sorry Didam and Papa)
               My aim was One particular University, this little good result of Finals made me greedy for more, so I applied  for so many Institutes, . Hence I forgot my true calling....
                     I want to know if I should opt for other subject Like, History, Sociology, Political Science or Theology ( if any College does offer major ) next year. All I know, is I want to study, but what I want to study?????  I am so Damn confused.................

P.S- so confused.... HELP

thanking you to bear with me

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

the inner Witch


                   Ever since, God has put the power to interlace wishful thinking with reality in my head. I have gone bonkers. Truly, I suffer from a disease  called Day Dreaming. This ailment is really  dangerous one.... No cure, no other way out to reduce it.... This has made me believe I am a Witch. But a good one of course....
                     Luckily no witch hunting takes place where I live. I do believe I am a witch to the extent that  I almost  bought spell books... The only reason no one will think I am one as, I know no spells, have no witch's kitchen, no broom, no hat, no long ugly nose or face. Neither do I live isolated in woods.Nor I am follower of Satan... I am plainly fascinated to the word witch. 
 Witches in ancient time were like the medicine man. No bad in intention. People always associated witches with witchcraft and black magic. But again the society was always under Man's sole, they might have hunted the so called witch who were independent in ideals, liberal in mind and were against conventions .  No one knows what was the truth...
 I have always idealized  a witch , she appears  a woman who represents  whole ideal of true WOMAN. She is alone, isolated yet feared, she stays single and is unapologetic to any deed of her. She cares no society, no bondage, no authority: - She is a Free and Ideal Modern woman.
                          So I feel the urge to be a modern  Witch, not wicked but of course standing to my Ideals. There is inner witch in each and everyone of us. The  Path we choose makes what we are not what the world brands us with... Relations make us woman, Education makes us respected , Standing up for what we believe makes us Followed. All three together makes us a WITCH.
                I have my respect to every witch in this world who was hunted, who were and are fighting for Rights, who are raising kids alone, who are single yet happy,..  The inner Witch in me has motivated me to go forth and speak what I want. I fear no one ( a little lie).  WE have to free the trapped witches  in our hearts..... and say better a Witch then being Which One on  man's lips.................

P.S :- Yes someone was right, in that huge old tree it was I who was trapped not the wizard, but the                              

thanking you to bear with me

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

from the diary of INSIGNIFICANT one: part II

Part : II

  Once, I was attending an Art workshop, it was a gala event for any twelve year old at that time. Being and over enthusiastic all my life, I was there in every place learning  less but hopping more.  This Workshop had given me one of the ideals of life, which I follow. One episode is still planted in my mind.
          On the last day of workshop, we had a  Question and Answer session  with Chief Artist. He began his lecture with the topic  " Creativity and Perspective "  ( big Words too me than). Soon he began to ask questions. This one question has changed the angle  from which I view the world.  He asked say one thing that is the need for an artist, dancer,or writer , tell me the name of one force that is the Reason of Creativity.  I answered , Imagination, I was right.....
                                One  of   the reason we exist on earth is because we could Imagine of better life. The basis of evolution is imagination. God had created Garden of Eden, as he could imagine it. Every grain of life is the result of Imagination. A life without imagination is a life without soul.
                             Often we say a child to be lying when he says he has big monster as friend. But the process of Imagination is only successful when the child in us is let free to Imagine. Imagination is something as natural as tempest...It should blow off every doubt and take us where the heart goes. The aim of life is to live, and life must break free from every bondage and travel a world of vibrant imaginations.,,,, We must live a mark in the world, before we depart bag and baggage..
                      The word Imagination has made me work hard all my life, as well as live every moment bad or better. To grow as photocopy makes one survive but never live. To be same and imagination less is as equivalent to being a soulless  body walking around ( Zombie ). We all are stuck in labyrinths  of our own mind, trying to win, trying to be ahead, but never looking around the beautiful path of life.....
                 The reason of  Creativity is Imagination, Imagination is the end of  Blankness of Mind...

              P.S :-    next time if you see a old huge tree.,  Imagine it to be a Wizard   trapped in the tree.

thanking you to bear with me

Monday, 10 October 2011

pink college BLUES

From today Starts my Pink College Blues........

  After a week of holiday, the college will be back in front of my eyes. Trust me I am living my worst Nightmare... This college has everything one doesn't want to have in her Dream college and has every thing of - Worst nightmare.

First Nightmare - Uniform..... yes a Pink and White color uniform. That's known as Salwar, rather wearing it is a WAR it self. From uniform comes the name Pink College.( my Creative mind) Imagine a Rope around your neck,, Chains on your feet and  Reviling Shield made to protect you but you feel captivated and nude?

Second Nightmare- Horrible class rooms.... yes whitewashed rooms, but walls  decorated with Modern Art- Stains of Pan spat out by dear students. My major room is so tiny, that it makes me feel I am sharing a coffin on my funeral day with  twenty  (20) other living  people.

Third Nightmare - Horrible subject combination , Yes I don't see the point in studying subjects I  have no interest in.... Truly  I loathe Logic which is most illogical subject ever, do forgive Logic lovers. I hate Education as a subject which I scored a  90 in my High School Finals. I want to study English only. How does  it feel when you  only want Chicken Pie, but are also forced to eat carrot juice and  spinach??? same feeling...

Fourth Nightmare-  The male dominating mind of College, yes. its true.... the value of a Equality is missing from the very basic level of education. My college stands with Chauvinism, yes it does its underneath those low mentality of people around  " and " I wont cover up.... Just Imagine a college guy saying your best friend WEAR a white Blouse?? in front of  whole class?????

 Fifth Nightmare - We study with animals, believe me we do. You will find, Cows, Goats and Dogs etc ..... just before the holidays a baby lamb ran in and out of our classroom, were lecture was taking place , next time may be a baby elephant will run,.
Finally every topic ends up in a HUGE topic called Marriage????
  Sometimes it makes me think do I attend a College of civilized Humans or Not.......This  college has got a B+ grade last year, and this year they hope for an A??? duh Who gave it a C even?
If I was a college inspector, I would have given a F- ..............

 P.S- This place  is a mental torture for someone like me who loves to grow and enjoy their studies.....
I have Visions that I might end up being a COLLEGE DROP OUT.........................................

thanking you to bear with me

Sunday, 9 October 2011

THE ART OF WALKING : never meant for us.....

                             " HOW do  people walk without twisting their feet once ? "...                                              

IS something I wonder   The Art Of Walking is something none of us has learned in our family - my Mom, elder sister and me., none of us.
                         Every time we are walking down the road, its either my mom about to fall either me, or my sister. This twisting and tumbling feet of our have sometimes created serious problems.  Many time, it ends up being a enjoyable memory  with striking  pain "OUCH"......
                           Once upon a time I and Mom were traveling to meet my sister . It was a three day long train journey ,.  On second night the twisting of feet caused a twisting of life time. As Mom was going to Loo I being a ideal daughter offered  to join her.... The train was on high  speed, and I was walking behind Mom, .  Next thing I remember that something pinched  my  feet, and Mom turned around to look  at me, but she saw I was jumping ( BUT NO I WAS NOT ) the very second  I was on floor. Alas my whole trip was ruined,  rest is history........ Result - Twisted Left Feet For Life time.
                                      Similar thing happened another day- We were on our  way to Grandfather's house through backyard path. This time Mom was behind me. She was walking and talking to Grandpa, next thing we knew, she was on soil..  Result - Twisted hand.
  And my sister has a story of endless fall, so cant write them now. But we have one story. WE were walking down the road one day, suddenly my sister said she prefers footpath  and started to walk on footpath, the very next moment footpath said  "But I don't   prefer you." So my sister was on on road rolling. Funny but hurting....
                                 But we have our own ways to protect our self,  I always hold  my Mom's hand, so that none of us fall even if we twist a feet. We fall , due to no reason really, we walk fine as my view goes ..... 
                          Sometimes I wonder is our feet twisted or the roads twisted. Of course the road is twisted silly me, WE walk great, but the road has a disagreement with us....

P.S - someone should write a book for us : MASTERING THE ART OF WALKING 

thanking you to bear with me

Saturday, 8 October 2011

name game

                                  As you may wonder whats cooking behind my name. Well I am paulOaries. Yes readers I know you are smarter then me. YES its not my real name, rather its my Pen Name. I fail to see the idea behind putting up my real name ( honestly I am scared OF Public Humiliation ). ITS been a Heaven and Hell year for me... So my real name can wait till  the blog is mature enough......
                                                       This Blog is an escape to my world of reflections, thoughts, fantasies and my personal - public journal. Well my name  has nothing to do with anyone of my post right? Its simple I am my words.... I don't write with mind but with heart ( too much emotional sorry ). To be or not to be,  so I choose not to be - to be nobody just a plain  name with secret mission in mind......
                                      A mission I cant share with you, but its a big one.....
I have to say honestly I have been very Lucky to be born at the age  of laptop, I  wont lie its the best invention after discovery of Internet. Not only can I read my notes, but frankly I can publish my words without a real Publication House all with help of my laptop..... Now well its a mystery to me if some one reads my blog or not. So I wont jump about being printed virtually .........
                        My Pen Name  is the result of combination of my favorite writer   PAULO COELHO's   first name  and my  sunshine ARIES,  here the result is paulOaries and is to be Pronounced  as POLARIS. But why  "O" in capital,  I have a fascination with letter O. There is a unseen reason and my real name is kinda hidden too in the name paulOaries. You are allowed to decode it,  but I WONT  open my mouth now.
                                      Really  not now let my Big  Mission be fulfilled................

P.S-  cant help it, but hide it :)

Thanking you to bear with me

Friday, 7 October 2011

the MOUTH AFFAIR ......

When ever I munch down mouthwatering delicacies from my Hand to Mouth.  I have a self realization- I  have contributed few more extra fats.....
    Throughout my life time I have been on the heavier side of the scale. Being a food lover, rather      FOODAHOLIC,  its hard to control my twisting tongue at site of delicious edibles.   I have tried my luck several times to cut the munching mania, with several methods and advises. But  " Smell rings the Bell in Stomach ."
                         Being a Bong ( Bengali ) is a bliss, you have a never ending list of delicacies, so  your taste buds develop the sense of variety at a early age. We Bongs  are best when it comes to Mouth  Affair. You give us any vegetable  or any food item that you hate and we turn it into a dish arrived from the God's  Kitchen.  Trust me Bongs are the best cook always. Well our whole country is filled with surprises, being a Bong I can speak of a Bong's Appetite.
                     Now its simple I live to eat,  anyone would if they would see the hot Lucis ( puri) with tempting diced potato fry,  fish fry with rice,  ever plate of food has a story to tell. We read those stories with little difference, we read with our Tongues indeed........
             WE Bongs tend to say  even if we drink water we tend to be fat, its true, I doubt whats in water too..... But again we Bongs have justification for our over sized belly and food centered life.....

                                               " THE REASON TO LIVE -FOOD! FOR WHAT ELSE WOULD WE EARN  IF WE HAVE NOT LIVED LIFE"
I am a true Bong : Food is my life.......

P.S- I am a true bong " Smell rings the bell in Stomach "

happy eating

Thursday, 6 October 2011

being PER-FACT

Perfect is a perfect word itself, wholly , beautifully , from every way its perfect. Now perfect is one of my favorite words from limited list of vocabulary. Everyone wants to be perfect, trust me every soul in this World wants perfection in her life.. THIS love for perfection is the root cause of dissatisfaction in our perfect lives... TRUE but reality.
                      In this struggle to be perfect, we end up being PER-FACT, not perfect...
  CAN a human always be perfect? NAH! Never! ..... Did I say 'always' ? OOPS...... All I wanted to say was  does attainment of perfection is ever possible? But whats our notion of being perfect? Good education, good job, loving family, enough bank balance and bla and bla.......
                 I have heard people saying God is perfect. Okay he is. But how we human know if he is perfect? And why he is perfect? And did Anyone see THE ALMIGHTY ????
 No answer, for above , but with due respect to GOD, I say that perfection to us is something abstract and  infinite , and some source that's unseen is PERFECT.
                    So we can say every one, each one aspires for perfection directly or indirectly :-  hence we run for INFINITY, somewhat which is equivalent to ZERO. Wow everything in this world ends up in Zero! A Zero! Funny  right? 
          Now lets come back to PER-FACT, not perfect. Each and everyone of us try to show we are perfect. But how we do it? We do everything per-fact, to make our self perfect (oops), to think we are perfect. We are always well polished. well dressed, well spoken, well behaved, well and well always per-fact. We do things to fit in, we like things because others expect us too do so. In place of perfect and being original we become copycats, scanned version of each other. So     "PERFECT"   is the instrument of "PER-FACT"..... Did this confuse?
                                You are not perfect neither am I. Why ? We are still unaware of what we crave for Perfection or Per-faction ? We never bother to find the difference, or you never noticed until I put it before you. WE fall in love, we stay with them,  but we forget to love. WE earn, to live, but we forget life.
We all are perfection obsessed. So am I. We crave for  BEST, but fail to see best is hidden in us.

WE love per-fact, we crazy for perfect. BUT per-fact rules the mind, so perfect has no chance to exist. DID I CONFUSE?  that says all we are not perfect but PER-FACT......

BUT I am not  perfect, with BAD spellings, illegible handwriting, and  in-correctable grammar , here by  I Proudly certify myself as IMPERFECT.,
see the magic of the word  "Imperfect"  it says "I Am PERFECT"

P.S - Well   Napoleon missed perfect.... !!!

thanking you to bear with me,

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

from the diary of INSIGNIFICANT one.... : part I

part : 1 POEM

( its not good I do not expect  it to be either, but I felt I should Share my words with everyone no matter how bad I write ,,,, Do Forgive me for saying the word Poem)

I heard her moving
When  I turned back,
She was gone

She was not my Past
She is not my Present
She will not be my Future.

But she was Born,
With me
And she will not Die
With me.

She is my companion
My only comrade
Yet not my Guide
She is : My HOPE

She was born with me
But she will stay forever
After I have GONE....

One day she will
Mature to Reality
She will stay Forever
To fulfill the unseen......

But now she plays
As she hides again....
I wonder
Will we win together ever...

 P.S-  (its neither  decent , my  apologies... to my dear readers time and again.
but I am in a mood  to speak out my words......)

thanking you to bear with me,

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

My Friend Spoonerism.......

Have lot to talk.... But where to start ?? A classic Dilemma we suffer from..... Well I suffer from Spoonerism      ( not at serious level but mild one ) and this two dear buddies have created many embarrassing moments for me... Once I was on stage and was suppose to say "Merry Ho" but the fate had something more funny in plan - and it became" Herry Mo " and this was first time I noticed this beauty OF Spoonerism.. From then there was no turning right for my beloved Tongue... Then whenever I began speaking in class occasional outbreak of new words were seen.... But thankfully no one ever knew that I was suffering from the above twist of fate.... Till now no one knows it, no one truly not even my family..... But spoonerism was a bliss to me really.... for her I began to speak more clearly and rather fluently.... Sometimes its fun to be a laughing stalk of class too... But the secret to overcome this little devil is simply don't give her any importance and she will disturb you less...... BUT the Spoonerism Devil is very cunning too... YOU see I don't have her disturbing me off lately.... Somehow she manages to enter  my Vocal cord and mind.... this resulted in a very funny conversation with my friend once..

my friend :-  why didn't you reply to my Message
me :-  you see my cell phone was telling me MESSAGE    FENDING   SAIL
my friend :-  what???
me :- I said that MESSAGE    FENDING    SAIL ( still unaware of the devil in my head)
my friend :- message what?
me :- oops Message Sending fail ......

Again Spoonerism is also an literary technique. Many writers and scholars used this device to mock and satirize popular figures and create an amusing environment. I am lucky to be born with inborn literary qualities, I was destined to be a writer. So Spoonerism is going to help me achieve my dreams.       

  P.S-  SPOONERISM is a little smart devil then I am......

Thanking you to bear with me........

Monday, 3 October 2011

the battle trip to home

the intense BATTLE of seventh   day....

GOOD morning my imaginary readers (sorry). Happy Durga puja... The Goddess is back to defeat the Demon Mahishaur . BUT we Bongs celebrate PUJO in our own spirit of delicacies, new clothes and a list of endless....   But it would be over simplification of this great event...... Materialistic aspect is just one part of this Eternal battle of Good and Evil.  MAA Durga comes to visit her baaper bari ( parental house may be in plain translation.) too. THE most lovely aspect of the pujo is we receive her as a Mother and when she leaves we  see off  her as a DAUGHTER . But she comes here not only to kill one demon but to kill the demon inside us,,, in every heart- the selfish look, the unkind souls, the fake smiles and so on.... We celebrate this grand pujo every year for over centuries . But a Bong becomes Bengali only when he hears the sound of  Dhak,. The air has different joy, the heart feels to go and just let your self feel  the divinity of life, the beginning of life, and the never ending spirit....  The GOOD always Wins over EVIL...... the eternal battle is at seventh day today .... Happy SAPTAMI my friendsss.......   ten days of battle  seven down three more days to go.......

P.S- She will win again.

thanking you to bear with me

Sunday, 2 October 2011

introduction to all

Hello, do pardon me before hand..... for my wrong spellings and improper grammar... I am new to the world of internet and greedily trying to learn to use my new laptop. If you are reading my blog ( In my dreams I know, and my elder sister is not regarded as a reader, sorry Didam  ). Out  of  box though, I am a student in first semester in a horrible college doing major in English Language., yes my college sucks and my dear readers I will be irritating you about PINK COLLEGE {not real name} days and my never moving life......  Please don't think I am a pessimist ,  but I am an ETERNAL OPTIMIST ........ My life at present sucks in college, it seems i will be stuck in this jungle of  aimless and dreamless people.( please don't think that I consider myself superior ) Its simply that i don't  want to end up in being ordinarily normal..... welcome to my blog.... waking for my dreams is what I am  destined for..... please read my little insignificant words.....

P.S- I am my words :)

thanking you to bear with me